My Biggest Personality Flaw. Let Me Show You It.

Listening (obsessively) to: "Day of the Baphomets" by The Mars Volta

For those of you with less than a square inch of common sense (or who haven't read/disagree with my long rant on the subject), this post is going to seem "emo" to you. For the rest of you, it will probably fall under the category of "human" or "natural" or something similar. I literally just discovered this about 10 minutes ago, and never before have I felt so compelled to make a completely meaningless and irrelevant post on something as to use all caps, a habit which I typically despise. You're just lucky I didn't make the font all huge (it's tempting though).

Okay. *inhales*. Here goes.

MY BIGGEST FLAW IS THAT I AM AFRAID OF EVERYTHING.

Yes. Everything.

And the thing of it is, not only am I AFRAID of EVERYTHING, it seems that I DO everything OUT OF FEAR.

As I think back on every little thing I do on an average day, I realize that this is true for at least most of them. And when I say "fear", I don't mean the kind of uber-phobia, "oh em gee that chick from the Ring is going to eat me and the world is ending before I could TiVo the last episode of The Office" kind of fear. I mean the kind where it's like "oh crap I gotta do this, find that, hurry up, slow down, study harder, practice often, get more sleep, talk to my friends, be nicer to my family, update my blog, and hope to God I can get it all done before tomorrow inevitably catches up with me and that the stuff I choose to do today is the right stuff because I only have so much time to get it all done."

Let me explain. In a nutshell, here's my average day:

6:30-8 AM, I'm in fear of looking like crap and being late.


8:15 AM-2:45 PM, I'm in fear of getting bad grades (except 9:07-10:04 ^^), being late, saying/doing something idiotic, and having a blonde/klutz incident.

2:45-2:50, I'm afraid of missing the bus, not getting my own seat, or having to sit next to someone who isn't particularly fond of me.

3:15-???, I'm afraid of getting bad grades, not getting enough sleep/food, pissing off my parents, getting pissed off at my sister, not having enough time to interact with my friends, and having mental breakdowns.


Does this look a lot like YOUR typical day? Are you reading this and thinking "Pfft! What a drama queen!". Well, I don't blame you. A good majority of people have days that are, more or less, following the same general patterns as mine. (and I do tend to be a bit dramatic...). Granted, if you're an adult, this changes a bit, ie things like work rather than school, but it's close enough. You sit at a desk and file papers and write reports and do as your master says. Because you're afraid of getting fired/expelled if you don't.


I don't get it. Is it just me? Am I making something out of nothing? Does anyone else get this way? Is it the way society and the media expect us to behave, and so we inevitably do so? Is it a natural survival instinct thingamadoohicky? What? What IS it?


I've heard a lot of cliched little sayings like "the greatest risk is not taking one" and "the only thing to fear is fear itself" and "Well, you can't not let ANYTHING happen to him. Cause then NOTHING would ever happen to him. Not much fun for poor little Pablo." (yes, that was a quote from Finding Nemo. Deal with it.). And, well, they're kind of true. When I get my homework done, get A's and B's, etc, my parents are happy and they say "Good job! Keep it up!" and that's it. Nothing really happens (except that I go through a mental list of all the less productive things I'd rather have done with my time). But if I get an F, or even a C, I get a lecture, a "why did you do this?!", a "grades are important!! Do you want to go to college or not?!", and maybe even a "no *insert fun privilege thingy here* until you've studied more!". And something has happened. It's not a good something, but it's something. The same goes for any of the other above. I'm late, I get yelled at; I have a bad hair day, I feel like people are looking at me weird (although they probably don't care anyway, as they shouldn't); you get the idea. But if the choice is between nothing and something which is bad, then which is preferable? That sounds so...I dunno, pessimistic? Which isn't what I'm trying to say at all. Maybe the whole "fear of failing" thing is just the half-empty version of saying "desire of success". But "avoiding failure" doesn't really feel like "success", it just feels like "whew, that was close! Glad I managed not to screw up THAT one!". And maybe that's just my twisted personal psychology. Or maybe it's because I've simply done what's expected of me rather than anything worth considering a "success". Ever have one of those times when you've done something you're really proud of, and you announce it loudly and obnoxiously for the world to hear, except that the world Doesn't. Freckun. Care.? And you KNOW it's not THAT big of a deal, but it's still something YOU accomplished and you wish SOMEone, ANYONE, would just look at your brilliant stick-figure drawing or perfectly-half-cleaned bedroom for a moment and say something along the lines of "Wow....nice!"? (*sigh* Yes, I am a drama queen, we went through this two paragraphs ago, let's move on now, shall we?). Well, if you haven't, then that means that either A. Everything you've ever done has been praised and adored by all (not likely), or B. You've never accomplished anything you would consider worth noting, and therefore have very low self-esteem or very high self-expectations or simply don't care about doing anything with your life, or some combination of those. Which isn't very likely either. So chances are you know what I'm talking about. And you know how much it SUCKS. Because that stick person drawing took you a whole 15 minutes to do, plus 5 minutes of careful planning, drafting, and thumbnails. It was a truly original piece, straight from the heart, classically inspired and modernly crafted, and although it ought to be in the frickin' Lourve, you have to pay a daily rate to have it stuck by a magnet on your refrigerator.

Hmm that was a bit of a tangent, now where the helck was I going with that...?

Oh, right. So, anyway...more maybe's. Maybe I'm one of those low self-esteem people who needs someone else's encouragement/approval/praise in order to feel like I've done anything right, and I just need to learn to realize on my own when I've done something well. But then I might end up becoming a cocky butthole and think that everything I do is perfect. Or I might sink lower and hate everything I do. Is this one of those things that everybody except me learned to master when they turned 9, and my brain is, once again, lagging behind in the "social skills" department? I dunno...maybe I just need a reality check, or a (lack of?) sanity check, or a "you just spent 45 minutes typing about NOTHING, you foolish woman" check. Or someone with a lot of money could write me a check with a long number on it aaannnndddd...that would solve very few of my problems and would probably create a few more.

Sigh. I'm still afraid. Of everything. Of things happening and things not happening and whatever's in between, if there is such a thing.

I guess the main thing is trying and doing the things I WANT to do and not worrying about if I'm going to fail at them and letting the rest sort itself out because there's not much I can do about them anyway. Which probably isn't as easy as it sounds but I'm going to make it happen...somehow...O_o...

That was pretty much completely pointless. If anyone made any sense out of that, please, PLEASE, leave a comment and enlighten me...although if anyone actually just READ through that whole thing I will be absolutely amazed and slightly scared. Again.

Hmm. I might decide that it was a stupid idea to post this at all. If you see this and then all of a sudden you don't, I've probably taken it down entirely, and that would be why. Sorry.

To The People In My 2nd Hour:

My dear classmates,

I understand that the majority of you contain what is known as the Y-chromosome along with limited amounts of testosterone, so I will try to use the kind of language you understand best as I say this:

Dude, this whole acoustic thing is like, so frickin' gay*.

I mean, don't get me wrong, bro, I know us chicks dig the whole "sensitivity" thing. But seriously man, there's like, two chicks in the class, including me, and I feel like I'ma gunna puke or somethin' every time some puny kid with his acoustic guitar gets up there and sings about how "I didn't mean to hurt you honey" or "tomorrow's coming too soon" or some crap like that. Your MOM can make "music" like that, man! Let's put the rock n' roll back in it bro! C'mon, you know what I'm talkin' about! We need a loud, fast drummer and some solid-body electric string-things and somebody who puts the vol. back in the vox man! This is what it's all about! Lose the overdone high school emo crap and pick up some originality at the lyric store while you're there! You gotta grow some where it counts and step up to the plate! Dude, do you WONDER why yer gettin' bored sittin' there listening to one presentation after another (or why the crowd's acting bored listening to YOU)? D'ya need a clue why they all sound the same? Well it's probly cuz they DO, man! So stand out in the crowd! Take a chance, crank it to 11, and wake them suckers up! I mean, yeah, bro, we got a couple o' guys who know their stuff, who can pull it off, but fer those who can't, well, there's too many of ya anyway. So cut the crap, write some REAL riffs, shred them solos, and bring it back already!

.........O__o.......
....Okay I can't do this anymore, my brain hurts. But you get the idea. When I take over the world, one of the first things I'm going to do (after I do away with all inedible forms of tomatoes and shut down the RIAA and FCC, that is) is set up a system requiring you to have a special license to use any kind of musical instrument. You will have to attend 50 hours worth of classes over the course of a year. There will be specific requirements for those trying to obtain an acoustic guitar. Besides being able to actually PLAY the thing well, with SKILL and MUSICALITY, you will have to write and submit suitable lyrics and pass a vocal test to prove that you can use it the right way. There will be a computer chip permanently placed inside each acoustic guitar which will be able to sense if you are in violation of anything that is against Good Musical Taste, and if it does, oil (or liquid Axe depending on if there's such a thing as oil by the time I've taken over the world) will seep from every pore in the wooden body of the guitar and you will have 3 seconds to step away from it before it self-destructs and bursts into flames. Officials will arrive at your home to check your license before they suspend it until you can prove that you know how to use your instrument properly. If you are caught without a license, you will be arrested and the maximum sentence will be 5 years in a specialized Musical Correction Facility. Students working to obtain their license will receive instruments that do not burst into flame, but those with a permit will have a chip which will instead feature a clip of the vocalist from Aphex Twin** angrily scolding you in surround sound for your impudence. And I don't mean hitting a wrong note or something, that happens to everybody. I mean intentionally and deliberately playing in a style which is offensive to the ears of people over the age of 12 (and I will admit that what I considered "music" when I was 12, 13, even 14, is now mind-numbingly abhorrent to me, now that I am the wise, mature, and sophisticated age of just-barely-16). I know this may sound totalitarian, obsessive, and unreasonable to you, but it's actually quite sensible, and it really is for the benefit of all. This includes you, dear acoustic guitar players. For one thing, that guy Estaban or whatever who has those ads on really late at night will *ahem* mysteriously disappear to some remote location, and only top-notch high-quality beautiful-sounding acoustic guitars will be produced and distributed to EVERYONE who fulfills these requirements. Plus, you get to pick your own, and you can customize it to suit your stylistic needs if you wish. Free strings, cables, extra equipment, all that jazz. Not sure how I could make it better than that. And think about this: Would you rather have the pants scared off of you by the guy from Aphex Twin**, or deal with me once I snap from having to listen to the turds you recycled from the last Plain White T's/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus/Brand New/Boys Like Girls/etc song you heard?

That's what I thought.

There is hope, though. I can think of about 3 or 4 people from my 2nd hour off the top of my head who could feasibly pass this test. Then again, especially considering one of them is the teacher, those aren't very good odds. It does worry me, though, that this could be the future of music. That these...people...*bites tongue*...could be the ones rising from the underground and into the mainstream. I guess it's been that way for awhile now, though, but honestly...I had hope for my generation. I don't know how many sweets I was on when that hope formed, but it was there nonetheless, and it dwindles even now. Some of my friends have lost all faith in the entire NATION'S music scene, or even contemporary music entirely. I wonder if they're right. I wonder if it can be saved at all. I can't do it alone, by any means. The only thing that really sets me apart is my determination to BE set apart. That has nothing to do with whether or not I have any musical ability, although I like to believe that I do. But in the long run, someone will eventually have to wake up and realize that what they've been listening to/creating isn't all that original or heartfelt or worth listening to. And then they'll dare to dig deep and pull out something that's totally new. And, if it's done well, people will flock to that because they've never heard anything like it. In a perfect world, that is, which this is obviously not. Rather, people are afraid of leaving their little genre-boxes, afraid to listen to something new, afraid they won't like it. I've been there. I've half-written many a less-than-half-decent song. But I'm listening to more and more new things and trying to expand my ears as much as I can. I'm not saying everyone should go experimentalist with it, but everyone has the potential to create better things than they have been lately, and I'm patiently waiting for it to happen. When you guys think you've got something like that, anything like that, anything I haven't heard, send me your demo or "that-song-by-that-one-band" and I'll send you either an imaginary box of hugs or whatever's at the bottom of my wastebasket at the moment. Whichever one’s a fair trade.

And with that, I wish the best of luck to you, my fellow classmates, as you learn and grow in your musical experiences. And if I ever take over the world, I wish you the best of luck on the survival of your sanity. You're going to need it.

Love or earplugs,
>>Madison<<

(*"Gay" is another one of those words that is used too much and usually in the wrong context. If something's stupid, say it's stupid. If a person is a homosexual, they are gay. I'm not lesbian or bi or whatever but it's pretty much the same thing as racism when you refer to something as being "gay" when it's not actually gay, you just don't like it. I was obviously using it to be sarcastic, although in this case, it could probably be taken literally. ~_^)

(**If you've never heard of Aphex Twin, go to YouTube and type in "aphex twin come to daddy" and click on the first video you see. Some might call it "FREAKY/SCARY!!!", but if you ask me, it's a great, danceable little tune.)

Listening to: shtuffz you ain't nevah heard uv bahfore.

Questions, Comments, Suggestions, Recommendations, Frustrations, Long Strings of Expletives?

Leave them all in the magickal Comment Box, which I have recently fixed so that you don't have to have your own blog to post in (which I think is rather unfair, don't you?), now that I figured out how. So sorry about that.
Love,
>>Madison<<

TOMATOES...

Listening to: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

...are probably the most disgusting things that anyone ever thought of eating. I don't understand why people like them. I really don't. They have their uses as flavoring devices in some recipes, but essentially...they're a slimy, squishy, blood-clot-like plague on society. I've eaten OCTOPUS SUSHI, with the SUCTION CUPS STILL ON IT, and although it wasn't necessarily to my taste either, I think I'd rather eat an entire tentacle of that stuff than even a cherry tomato. The fickle things don't even know if they're fruits or vegetables! "Oh, they're a fruit cause they have SEEDS," you say. Well, so do pumpkins, peppers, squash, cucumbers, zucchini, and green beans, but you don't see any controversial debates going on over THEM, now do you? Here are some forms of tomatoes which, if you happen to have the exact same taste as me, you should watch out for:

-Whole, sliced, diced, or chunked
-Cherry
-Ketchup (Yeah, that's right, I don't like ketchup. You gonna do sumpin' 'bout it?)
-Chunks of tomatoes floating around in various soups, pastas, sauces, etc.
-Those little pointy bits of it that tend to float around in (see above). It took me forever to figure out that these are actually the SKIN.
-The T in BLT

Here are some foods in which the nasty things have faced justice in the form of some kind of food processor, and are therefore acceptable/safe to consume:
-Pizza sauce, marinara sauce, spaghetti sauce, etc.
-Sun-dried
-Any form in which they are processed to the point that they are unrecognizable as their true form.

Now that society is informed of this terrible evil, and knows what to look out for, we can all do our part to rid ourselves of such poisons in our food supply. If anyone wants to start a Jicama Lovers' Crunchy and Juicy Support Group with me, gimme a holla via the comment box.

Jim Morrison...

...was a bloody genius/madman. That's all I have to say. Oh, and to Kailey: Thank you.

Listening to: "When The Music's Over" by The Doors

Watch Your Language!

Listening to: "The Becoming" by Nine Inch Nails

Words are fun, funny, and phunny. I like to make them up, and so do many of the people I know. Here are a few that you may or may not find interesting or amusing. Some have been made up by me, some by people I know, some by people I don't know but who are surely legends somewhere. There's no copyright on them (as far as I know, aka if you've made one of these up and don't want me to use it, leave a comment instead of suing my holey pants off, please), so you can incorporate them into your daily speech as much as the mental institution you reside in will allow.

confuzzled: (adj.) confused, bewildered, or just plain LOST...

shinanigans: (n. plural) things that are going on. A vague but versatile term.

clusterf(udge): (n.) a chaotic, confusing (see "confuzzled"), or out-of-control situation. I'm sure you know what to replace "fudge" with. Credited to the military originally, and to Dane Cook for introducing me to it.

wonky: (adj.) term used to describe the sound made by unwanted feedback in a sound system. Credited to one of my teacher(s?).

purdyful: (adj.) pretty, neat, beautiful, lovely, orderly, etc. Incorrect spelling will result in spelling correction.

uberiffic: (adj.) awesome, wonderful, incredible, amazing, insane, etc. A combination of "uber" and "terrific".

wanking, to wank/wanker: (v./n., respectively) to play one's instrument at an inappropriate time, in a showoffy fashion, or in an unskilled manner. Someone who wanks/is wanking.

omg wtf bbq: chat speak abbreviation used to make fun of chat speak abbreviations.

butcher: (v.) to figuratively destroy a performance, etc by not doing a very good job of it.

epic: (adj.) intense, overwhelming, mind-blowing, amazing.

jamming, to jam/jam session: (v./n., respectively) to perform music with two or more people in a casual, just-for-fun, free-form setting; a rather "dorky/lame" term used to describe a time period of jamming.

carp en denim: fish in pants. A play on the phrase "carpe diem", sent to me by my dear friend Jordan.

Eat, Sleep, and Poop Day: (n.) Thanksgiving. (this reminds me of the song we wrote in Seattle about the turkey baster flying off to space...leave a comment and nag me to post the lyrics to that sometime...). Credited to the tallest of my many guitarist friends, although I added in the "sleep" part.

coinkydink: (n.) a coincidence. Pronounced "co-INK-ee-dink".

monkey: (n.) a somewhat derogatory way of referring to a person or group of people considered to be beneath you. Can be prefaced with a number of other adjectives (use your imagination, if you have one). Ex. "Nazi-muffin sea monkey": something to be yelled at one's friends when they have caused you grief, ie poking you in the stomach, taking your food, dropping an anvil on your foot, etc.

geniosityamazerifictubularcrazyfingbeautifulness: (adj.) A term used to describe something which is so great that it merits its own 48-letter, 21-syllable combination of at least 7 words. Same one who came up with Eat and Poop Day.

drain bamage: (n.) brain damage. The result of putting up with stupid people, academic stress, sleep deprivation, hitting your head on those slanted roofs in cabins and weird houses, watching more than 1 hour of Spongebob or Viva la Bam at a time, or babysitting.

I'll be adding to this as I discover more of these verbal gems. It's one of those things where I'm like "Yeah! I should write about this!", then as soon as I start to, I forget all the ideas I was going to put in the post. If you think of some good ones you'd like me to add, leave a comment and let me know about it (or just leave a comment anyway *wink wink nudge nudge*). As a side note, sometimes I speak in lolcats, so if you're confuzzled by that, then go study it a bit: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/. Have a chuckle while you're at it, if you're amused by such immature things, that is (I sure am!). Stay tuned, or don't.

A Not-So-Brief Comparison of Dark Stereotypical Labels

Listening to: "Penetration" by KMFDM

Lately, and by "lately" I mean the last couple of YEARS, the word "emo" has been flying around like Shrimp Surprise in a cafeteria food fight. Personally, I despise this word for a number of reasons. The first being that it is OVERUSED beyond description. Anything and everything featuring skulls, dark colors, the slightest tinge of emotion, a strand of hair getting in one's eyes, etc, or sometimes even NONE of these things or things related to them, is pointed at and called "Eeeemoooo!!!" with a gleeful, ear-slicing cackle. The strange thing about this word is that, while it is frequently used as a derogatory term, its invention (or at least, its adaptation by the mainstream world), seems to me as a sort of "trendy" way to be "dark" and "edgy" but still "unique" and "individual". I'm really not sure how this works. Last time I checked (and I check on a regular basis, let me assure you), the point of being a "unique individual" was to avoid trendiness for trendiness's sake as much as possible. Granted, if your favorite color just so happens to be this season's new black or something, then good for you, you have lots of shopping options. But it really doesn't make any sense to me why all these "emo" bands with heavy rotation on MTV are considered "interesting" or "good" when in reality, the band members themselves probably had very little to do with the actual creation of the music (ever read the liner notes of a major-label CD and wonder what a "producer" does? Well, now you know.). The occasional friends/acquaintances of mine who either consider themselves to be "emo" or at least understand the music scene have informed me that these bands (Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, Say Anything, Hellogoodbye, etc.) are not "real actual emo bands". According to them, "emo" is short for "emotional hardcore", which is "hardcore punk" music that explores emotions other than the "typical punk feelings" of anger, rebellion, etc., and that these MTV bands don't sound ANYTHING like "real actual emo bands". After being briefly exposed to "real actual emo bands" out of curiosity, and "MTV pop-punk supposedly emo bands" against my will, I've decided that I don't really find either one to my taste. (Ok, fine, I admit it--I like 1 FOB song and 1 MCR song and 1 HGB song. They're catchy. But I can't listen to them more than once a week, if that often). But what REALLY frustrates me is people calling other people EMO. Okay, if the person you are calling "emo" genuinely enjoys the music, dresses the part, admits they fit the term, DECLARES themselves as being such, then great. Good for them. Call them that if you will. But to see someone at the mall with a black t-shirt and jeans and be like "HAHAHA!! Look, an emo kid!" without knowing the first thing about them is *in silly, exaggerated voice* DESPICABIBLE. In fact, the same goes with assuming that anyone is ANYTHING without knowing them. But it seems to me as though "emo" is everyone's favorite nowadays. What an emo kid looks like, to me, would be someone with drainpipe jeans (the super-skinny ones), possibly-dyed hair almost completely covering their face, beat-up black shoes, skin-tight emo-band shirt, lots of dark makeup for either gender, and probably not smiling. But even if I were to see such a person, I might glance at them and reactively think "emo", but I would know that I can't really make such an assumption. Maybe they like avant-garde jazz and comedy movies, I don't know. I've never spoken to them, I don't know them, I can't say a thing about them. This goes for anybody of any "label". It's one of those things that everybody does and nobody likes and nobody admits to doing. Personally, I'm trying to stop myself from thinking that way, but it happens.

(added 11.16.07): I REALLY LOVE how people in some of my classes will make jokes about emo kids, and that those same people usually wear various emo-band t-shirts FOR DAYS IN A ROW. I honestly don't know whether to laugh at them or scream and tear my hair out, so I usually just sit there and twitch. (/added)


Another set of people that many tend to label as "emo" are people who harm themselves. This is horrible. People who harm themselves are either A. looking for attention (and if they are then I pity them, because it means they aren't loved enough or something), or B. obviously having some difficulties in life and DO NOT NEED CRAP FROM SELF-RIGHTEOUS IGNORAMUS PIGS while they're trying to find ways to cope with their problems. That being said, I don't promote or encourage self-harm in any way, it doesn't really help you and there are other, better ways to deal with stress, pain, etc.


The main reason I'm posting about this whole "emo" thing anyway is that people tend to call ME emo. Let me clarify a few things:
1. I despise skinny jeans, drainpipes, etc, in every form. The same goes with super-tight clothes in general. Form-fitting, yes. Suffocating, no.
2. As stated above, I am not fond of any "true emo" music and can occasionally tolerate "MTV emo pop-punk" music.
3. Sometimes, my hair falls into my eyes. It happens. I don't like it, I don't try to make it do that, it just does. I brush it away and it inevitably falls back there again. If I'm facing downward, I usually just give up.
4. I have never, and do not plan on, intentionally harming myself in any way. I do tend to hurt myself by being a general klutz and running into walls, tripping over nothing, falling UPstairs (I'm gifted, I tell you), etc, but I assure you, I don't do these things on purpose.
5. I am generally a very cheerful, hyper, and life-loving person. I get cranky when I'm tired or having a bad day, but then again, so does your mom.

So then why do people call you emo?, you may or (more likely) may not ask. Well, this might have something to do with it:
1. I typically wear black clothes, striped socks, Converse sneakers, black eyeliner, black/red/purple nailpolish, etc.
2. Uhh...hmm, what else? Oh, wait a minute! Silly me! The ONLY basis people have for labeling me "emo" is my APPEARANCE! How funny is THAT!! Ha ha ha!
Hmm...judging someone based soley on their appearance...there's a word for that, now what was it...?

Oh yeah: STEREOTYPING.

Cut. It. Out. Now. I'm telling that to myself, too. Self, next time you see that guy in the lunch line with the little squiggly black lines running down his eyes who always looks really sad, you know what you have to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have weird noises to add to my songwriting project.

(EDIT: I know the title of this post suggests a COMPARISON of stereotypical labels. This is because I was originally going to compare/contrast emo and goth, but I ended up going on a long anti-"emo" rant instead. So I might actually do a compare/contrast thing later. Leave a comment if you'd like me to do so, or if that would make your life completely miserable and you'd rather I just drop the subject.)

Useful and/or Interesting and/or Meaningless Information Concerning The Strange One Behind The Keyboard

Helloz againz! (I like the letter z. Not sure why.)

Well, I figured if I'm gonna make a bloggy, (the letter y is pretty phat, too), I should probably give some sort of "brief" explaination of myself. (quotation marks rewl).

People have described me as random, sarcastic, obnoxious, and confusing. They have said and/or thought that my writings and talkings tend to be long, long-winded, extensive, and/or lengthy. That being said, I am not bribing, blackmailing, paying, threatening, forcing, or even ASKING you to read anything I post for any amount of time. If, however, you find yourself upset because of something I have said, and I have given an explanation on it which you apparantly have not read, I will redirect you to the explanation and expect you to read it before you continue to disagree with me. Make sense? Good. If not, sucks for you.

People have also described me as tall, fast-talking, hyper, funny (the less mature ones, that is), smart (the ones impressed by bigs words, that is), amazing/genius (the ones impressed by mad bass guitar skillz, that is), hyper, loving (the ones who mooch lunch money off me, that is), obsessive, weird/crazy/scary (all of them), blonde, grumpy, lazy, cute (like puppies), easily distracted (LOOK!! A SHINY!!!), loyal...people tend to make me sound better than I really am. Usually.

I am a 16-year-old sophomore. I went to an all-girls' high school last year, decided that plaid, nuns, and the same gender 24/7 weren't really for me, and transferred to the nearby public school. I have met some of the most uber-incredible friends in the entire galaxy in both places, and other places too. Don't worry, you'll hear more than you want to about it all.

Anyway, the point of this post was basically to give you some background information to help avoid confusion, although confusion is generally inevitable anyway, and to give you something to be annoyed about. Ta-ta for now.

My Name

I chose my username after about 20 seconds of careful consideration. I think it's catchy, cute, evil, yummy, and multi-cultural all at once. What more can you ask for? Although I'm thinking of changing the blog color scheme from red to green now...that would make some small degree of sense, wouldn't it? Yeah...I'll go do that...


As for my real name, my dad chose my first name. It's now the 2nd most popular female name in the nation. Way to go, Dad. You sure redefined originality there. Oh well, at least I'm not Emily.


(To my uber-awesome friend Emily and anybody who happens to be named Emily...uhh...your name is so popular because it rolls of the tongue in an eloquent and beautiful manner, and you have been christened with a gift. Please put the uzi(s) down. That's it, nice and slow...thanks.)


My middle name, Linn, comes from my mom's best friend, and it seems that people LOVE to spell it any way they can except the way my mother intended it.

Come to think of it, I have been called, with varying accuracy, Madison, Maddie, Madeline, Linn/Lyn/Lynne/Lynn/Lin/Lyndis, Heather, Payson, Amanda, Lauren, Bailey, Katie, Girl, Honey, Spelling Nazi, Nazi muffin, Nazi (uhh whatever, I have Jewish friends and friends of all different races and looks), Girl-That's-In-This-Class, Bassist, Hey You, Babe, Tall Girl, Lady, Ma-Ma, Mommy (I'm not actually anyone's mother, but I act like it sometimes), and Blondie. I'm sure your frustration, annoyance, and/or boredom resulting from this blog will compel you to create some sort of nickname for me, too.

That being said, the only real point of this post was to give me something to do for, like, ten minutes. Adios.

The Beginning (the answer to questions such as "What the crap is THIS supposed to be?!")

Hello, all you people/other out there in Internet-land! I am Madison, and this, obviously, is my blog. I'm starting this blog because I, like most humans etc, have an opinion on just about everything you can think of, and I for some reason feel the need to write and post about it online for the world to see. This is partially because writing/typing things out helps me clarify my thoughts, and partially because I want to inform people of said opinions in order to either A. make them think, B. give them something to do for about 0.73 seconds, or both at the same time. Since I don't actually know everything (although I may sometimes act like I do), I'm probably going to add to the different subjects as my opinionated opinions grow and change. BUT I will NOT be deleting or even editing posts. Why, you may or may not ask? Because, despite what the Ditech(sp?) commercials say, people are not necessarily smart. They are easily confused when something is changed, and I would rather be honest about what my opinion WAS at one point than say that I had the same opinion all along. The whole point of this is for me (and you, if you give a rat's patooty) to explore and grow and change and all that jazz. Sometimes I might sound like I'm really deep and I actually know what I'm talking about, and sometimes I might post about something like why I can't stand omelettes. Either way, the point of this is not to preach Madisonism to you, but rather to help me figure out where I stand other than on my imaginary cyber-soapbox. So with that, I bid thee adieu, and hope that nothing I say will piss you off enough to make you want to attack me with a spork.
Love,
>>Madison<<