TOMATOES...

Listening to: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

...are probably the most disgusting things that anyone ever thought of eating. I don't understand why people like them. I really don't. They have their uses as flavoring devices in some recipes, but essentially...they're a slimy, squishy, blood-clot-like plague on society. I've eaten OCTOPUS SUSHI, with the SUCTION CUPS STILL ON IT, and although it wasn't necessarily to my taste either, I think I'd rather eat an entire tentacle of that stuff than even a cherry tomato. The fickle things don't even know if they're fruits or vegetables! "Oh, they're a fruit cause they have SEEDS," you say. Well, so do pumpkins, peppers, squash, cucumbers, zucchini, and green beans, but you don't see any controversial debates going on over THEM, now do you? Here are some forms of tomatoes which, if you happen to have the exact same taste as me, you should watch out for:

-Whole, sliced, diced, or chunked
-Cherry
-Ketchup (Yeah, that's right, I don't like ketchup. You gonna do sumpin' 'bout it?)
-Chunks of tomatoes floating around in various soups, pastas, sauces, etc.
-Those little pointy bits of it that tend to float around in (see above). It took me forever to figure out that these are actually the SKIN.
-The T in BLT

Here are some foods in which the nasty things have faced justice in the form of some kind of food processor, and are therefore acceptable/safe to consume:
-Pizza sauce, marinara sauce, spaghetti sauce, etc.
-Sun-dried
-Any form in which they are processed to the point that they are unrecognizable as their true form.

Now that society is informed of this terrible evil, and knows what to look out for, we can all do our part to rid ourselves of such poisons in our food supply. If anyone wants to start a Jicama Lovers' Crunchy and Juicy Support Group with me, gimme a holla via the comment box.